Things I learned (or relearned) this weekend:

Sometimes, too much relaxation can be boring.

Sleep is a wonderful thing. But too much is disorienting.

I make a great sideshow freak, and Mr. Sexypants has decided to use me as such to draw a crowd so that he can sell more pickles at Faire. Something about seeing how much pickle juice I can chug and then making me run around like a screaming idiot. Sounds fun. I think that my ability to reduce a pickle to a dry, shriveled husk within minutes would also be a great draw.

Mr. Sexypants and I need to get into more trouble together. We decided on a game of "Let's see how much trouble we can get into without going to jail." This needs to happen. His wife, NiceHead, disagrees.

Erotic snuggling is a concept that needs to be explored in depth. And possibly more clearly defined.

Chasing psych meds with booze is a wonderfully terrible idea.

Sometimes I am too good of an actress. I try to be all faux dramatic about something stupid and actually end up crying and then before I know it, I'm really upset. I ended up bursting into tears over Chinese food. Good times.
*I would like to add that Batman fed me Chinese food so that I wouldn't cry anymore.

Who is and is not susceptible to puppy dog eyes and tears. Some people are especially susceptible. Some people are frustratingly immune, even to the saddest puppydog eyes I can manage. And I'm good at it.

Mr. Sexypants is better at the sad puppy dog eyes than I am. I attribute it to his lack of an allergy to actual puppies. (they make me die)

AwesomeSauce is my kind of demented, but sometimes he goes too far and I end up grossed out.

I should write a play.

I just might be mentally deficient in some way, but I'm cute, so it's ok.

Some other stuff I can't talk about here. ;p

That is all.

A Piratical weekend!

Yeah, yeah, I know... I was supposed to post this DAYS ago. Well, I've been busy, dammit.

So, as most of you probably know, Lori and Meric got engaged last weekend. I am very happy for my roomies. Not only do they go together like retards and helmets, but they are also really awesome people who deserve much happiness. It's also hilarious to watch Lori chasing Meric around yelling "LET ME LOVE YOU!" to which Meric usually replies "BUT IT HURTS!" There are other variations on this scene which are also hilarious.

So weekend recap. Let's see...

Friday night Lori's little brother, Crowbar came into town. In true Snafu fashion I was all out of sorts and was still trying to finish my costume for Saturday night (actually I had just started it). There was talk of the two of them having a crow bar battle (hence the name) to see how quickly they could send each other to the hospital. You know, for old times' sake. I was still cussing over my sewing machine, so Lori, Crowbar and Meric decided to go out to the bar, and I decided to stay home and finish sewing. I decided that I would also watch some Battlestar Galactica while I was sewing, and I was content. Usually the whole "you guys go to the bar, I'm staying here" scenario is grounds for chaos. I didn't care, I had work to do. Apparently Crowbar is a lightweight and also very sheltered to our way of living here. Lori and Crowbar are both from a very small town, Lori just managed to branch out a bit more that he did. So, apparently they (Meric and Lori) decided to get Crowbar drunk and he ended up TRASHED. Lori burst into the house (like she does when she's drunk) giggling and tells me this. I asked where he was, and she told me very nonchalantly that he was outside throwing up. They eventually hauled his lifeless body inside and onto the couch, and Lori was laughing at the fact that she could punch him (hard) and he wouldn't wake up. Ah, sibling love.

Saturday night was the Pirate Subversion with musical guest The Musical Blades. I was excited for several reasons. First, I knew that tonight was the night Meric finally proposed to Lori. This had been a few months coming. Second, I had never seen The Musical Blades perform. They play the St Louis Renaissance Faire every year and I work at the Faire every year, but still, I had never seen them because I am always stuck in my booth. Third, the after-party was set to be at our house (and guaranteed to be epic). Fourth, I was going to get to spend most of the evening with the guy that Lori calls Batman in her blog. We just started dating, and it's in the gooey stage where everyone looks at us like they're not sure whether to go "awww" or vomit.

It took us a while to get ready, partially because I was still trying to finish my costume. For a while I was running around wearing Batman PJs and a tutu. I don't think I have ever looked more insane. Well, there may have been a time or two. So after we finally got dressed, made-up and laced-up we got to the Crack Fox and of course, it was packed with Rennies. This was pretty awesome, as I have been pretty antsy for faire to start. From there, I had the challenge of keeping my mouth shut about the upcoming proposal. It was hard, so I decided to just stop talking to Lori so that I couldn't let anything slip. The Musical Blades went on and were pretty damn awesome. I finally got to see my friend Incendia Lupa (FireWolf on OnlyLori) perform her fire spinning in a venue other than the back yard of the Crow's Nest. It was pretty awesome, too. Batman finally got there and we played a brief game of gross out WonderLust. Then came the moment of truth. The plan was all laid out to get Lori on stage for a "contest" so that Meric could propose to her in pirate style. NiceHead and I tracked her down and I dragged her up to the front (a little transparently). One of the Blades spotted her and pulled her on stage and me along with her. I was reluctant. This wasn't part of the plan. I didn't want to go on stage. Then Gabe gets on stage. Something was wrong. We were supposed to toss rings onto the hook that Gabe had attached to his crotch. WRONG GAME! Crap. I no longer knew what the hell was going on so I decided to just let Lori win. Except Lori was purposely trowing the rings at Gabes face. Crap. She did end up winning, though. A real prize, too. Then came the contest that we were waiting for: who had the best "Arrr," facilitated by The Musical Blades. We all went "Arrr" as best we could. The Blades selected Lori as the "obvious winner," then Meric got on stage to give her the "prize." It was really cute. NiceHead even put a pirate flag down for him to kneel on.

There was more of The Blades and more fire. That was when Batman and I decided to go back to the house to "get the house ready for the party." Apparently we misjudged the time and suddenly there were people at the front door and I was half dressed with obvious sex hair and a stupid grin on my face. I let the people in and went to put myself to rights. Of course, Lori was hammered when she arrived. I am told that due to the proposal, people were buying her drinks. Well, I actually heard a slightly different story, but I'll just leave it at that.

The party was pretty awesome. There was a good turn-out, and I made someone cry. I'm going to pretend that I'm not pleased, because I am not a horrible person. Maybe. We had a weird creepy neighbor show up trashed and freaking people out. Lori threw him out. To my knowledge, other than that it was fun and without incident or drama. Batman and I actually crashed early because I was dead on my feet.  am told that Crowbar was pleased with seeing a bunch of pretty girls in corsets (something which he had been previously unexposed to). Apparently the party went on well into the morning.

Sunday was nice. Just a lazy day without much going on and just a few people hanging out. I got a jar of okra pickles. They were awesome. The End. 

The Birth of a Snafu

I promised I'd tell you how I became Snafu. Well, I lied! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Ok, FINE! I'll tell you.

It all started a little over a year ago (March 2010) at a particular convention that I go to every year. It is an adult relax-a-con and every year there is a theme. This past year's theme was "Super Heroes and Super Villains." When it was announced at the previous year's Con, my sister and I started brainstorming ideas for original characters. We decided that it would be easiest for me to stay in character while drunk all weekend if my character was close to my actual personality. I got out my thesaurus and started to look for words that could properly convey this.

I am a goofball. I am accident prone. I am generally well meaning. I am an unstoppable force of nature. I am...  Snafu. The superhero that can't do anything right. Catchphrase: "I got this!"

And plans were made and broken and made in the course of that year. A lot of major shit has gone down in the past year.

Fast-forward to June 2010. I become part of the House of Ill Repute (HOIR for short). I jokingly refer to the HOIR as a cult, but we really aren't, but we kind of are. We are essentially just a bunch of hedonists who throw parties and look to the guidance of our awesome Leader. LEEEEAAADER.......... So, when you become a member of the house, Leader usually gives you a title. We were on a float trip and Leader starts talking about giving Sister and I titles. Sister, who travels with her handy medic bag and is usually there to patch people up when they do stupid stuff, naturally became The House Medic. A conversation went on about my title, of which I don't remember much, but someone told Leader about the superhero alter ego that I had crafted. He LOVED it. It was set. Whether I agreed or not, I was now known as The House Snafu. I gradually started to use it as a nickname whenever my real name was in use by another, such as at karaoke.

Speaking of nicknames, on my roommate's blog OnlyLori I am known as Pretty Eyes. Isn't she sweet?

In August 2010 I went to my first HOIR party (besides the float trip) at the Crow's Nest. In fact it was the Housewarming party for the Crow's Nest. I had just been broken up with, and was pretty upset. Earlier that evening, under the guidance of Sister, I went to an event that my recent ex boyfriend also was attending. I drank quite a bit at this event and all they had was beer. I dislike beer, mainly because I get sick off of it pretty easily.

So I show up to the party and proceed to play "here, drink this." Before I know it (I am told about 2 hours after I arrived) I was in the alley, crying and vomiting. I was not the only person to get sick, but I was the first. I passed out and was put to sleep on the couch. I regained consciousness just long enough to realize that Leader had arrived at the party. He asked "How's The Snafu?" To everyone's surprise, I lifted my arm and croaked, "Snafu..." Lori was disappointed because they had a bunch of PBR temporary tattoos that were intended to go on the face of the first person to pass out. When that turned out to be me, she decided that she couldn't do that to a pretty girl.

November 2010. I ended up moving in to the Crow's Nest. Thanks for not plastering my face with PBR temporary tattoos, guys. Love ya! I don't think a victim has yet been found.

March 2011 finally rolled around, and my careful crafting of my Super Snafu costume really paid off. It was just as weird and wacky as I had intended. For Friday night I went for an anime interpretation of the character, which worked out quite well. Especially when I ended up running around drunk with a tie on my head (this makes total sense, but only to anime fans). I will probably write about con at a later time.
There may also be photos at some point.

Welcome!

I figured I should do this sooner or later. Well, guess what? It just became sooner. AND NOW EVERYONE WILL SUF... er, wait. wrong speech. let's try this again...

Hi, I am Snafu. Also known as The Snafu, Snafu the Great, Snafu the Awesomest Ever, and Super Snafu. The last one is my superhero alter ego. Shhh! Don't tell! My nemesis, The Basement, might find out. And he knows where I live! I will tell the story of how I became The Snafu, but not right now.

Anyways, I have been meaning to create a blog for a while, and just... well, didn't. I have no excuse. Only shame. Shame, shame, shame... Yeah. So you might have noticed that I'm a bit strange. I want to share this strangeness. Like herpes. I want to expose all to the wonderful world of Snafu Land.

What is Snafu Land, you might ask? It is the plane of existence on which I reside. I like it here. It's nice, we have great weather. You should come visit! Oh, you're here! YAY!!! I warn you, though. Snafu Land is not for the faint of heart. So prepare yourself! I intend to post anything from simple musings, to reports on the state of Snafu Land, to stream of consciousness weird shit. Don't worry if it doesn't make sense, and don't try to make sense of nonsense, you'll only hurt your brain and it will rupture and bleed and you will die. Just stand still and let it wash over you. It's better if you don't struggle.

Anyways, where was I? Oh, yes! Rambling. I do that.

So, welcome! Welcome to my blog. I sure hope I amuse you as much as I amuse myself, and I hope it doesn't suck. If it does, let me know, and I will ignore you.